(when talking about moving) "I KNOW it will be awesome BUT i....don't wanna lose my friends, it's gonna hard, i don't know the language etc..."
(talking about the fact that i will probably loose all my pictures cuz my hard drive crashed) my friends that are trying to encourage me: "well at least they are on facebook!" me: "I KNOW and that's good BUT the quality isn't as good!"
(when out somewhere with friends) "i KNOW! im glad we can hang out! BUT ugggg i have to leave at ____ time! :("
You get the idea. I tend to look more at what i DON'T have, can't do, or won't experience, then what i WILL have, can do, and will experience. The other night, I was bemoaning to a friend the fact that i wasn't apart of something this summer that i wished i could have been, and unlike most people i have talked to about it who were like "oh i know! i wish you could! that's so sad!" etc.. he kindly reminded me that hey. God's got it ALLL in control. He knows that this is what I need to be doing and that this will be better for me now and in the future. So why can't i just accept that and move on? move on and actually accomplish something with the time He's placed before me instead of pining away at what i can't do. Sometimes, i'm sure it's ok to do that. like miniature grieving. Sometimes it's worse not to acknowledge that you'll be missing out on something or such. But there's that fine line between the "grieving" something and...oh what's the word...dwelling on it. And I think I cross that line all too often. But since I just realized this today, I don't have any inspiring stories about how I am doing better at it, or anything of the sort. but I would like to ask that if you can think of any encouraging verses or anything to help me with this, would you comment por favor? :)
I think this post is more of a journaling type post than I usually do. Nothing inspiring or anything...just me thinking out loud. well not technically out loud. but you get the picture. anyway, i'll stop blabbering now.
Have an awesome memorial day!!
oh and i would like to take a minute and mention my wonderful papa. He passed away several years ago, but served in many wars and was a decorated veteran. (including a purple heart) i am really proud of him and loved him a lot. he was such a jokester and prankster and always could provide a good laugh. :) im so thankful for everything he and all the other military veterans and soldiers have done for our country! may God bless you!
Rach, I apologize for my bit of a spill the other night. Stuff just kinda hit me and I practically blew up before I had a chance to really think it through. I read this, though, and I do the SAME exact thing, so you're not alone. It's taken me til camp to finally come to terms and look more positively at the experiences He's put me through for the past two years straight. I always knew He had a reason. And now I really believe by taking away everything He gave me the ability to finally give up the control over my life that I THOUGHT I had and give it all to Him and accept whatever He has me do or not do. SO, from now on, whether I agree or disagree, I'm going to accept what God has me do in life or who he has me hang out with or what trips he decides aren't mine to go on. and YOU, my dear and close friend, must help hold me accountable for ALL my mess. And I will try to do the same. I LOVE YOU more than awesome blogs! But I'll be checking this out more often :) thanks again!
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