That phrase.

That phrase the I hate. And am so tired of. You know the one…. "This could be the last time I ____" I feel like I'm thinking that all to often these days. And the worst part is that I have no idea when I'm leaving…only possibilities. Possibilities that seem like they're gonna work but then seem so impossible looking back on them. It's so draining to go through it again and again. When friends go off to college, when I say goodbye to family members for "the last time", but then end up seeing them a few weeks or months later where I then again say goodbye. So in light of that, part of me just wants to go ahead and go. To just get out. And I don't feel in place anymore. There are very few places and situations where I feel comfortable and connected anymore. I don't know how it happened, but it has. And it's not the whole "I don't belong so I'm really depressed" feeling…it's just recognizing that and feeling the need to move on. Maybe it could be depressing if I really took a minute to have a pity party, but I'm trying not to. I'm looking at the positive and praying that God will use this to make change easier. But in everything, it's good to remember God's promises. That He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future.

"All things new
I can start again
Creator, God
Calling me Your friend
Sing praise, my soul
To the Maker of the skies
A song will rise

I will sing a song of hope
Sing along
God of heaven come down
Heaven come down
Just to know You and be loved is enough
God of heaven come down, heaven come down…"

-Song of Hope